How to spot a "bad buddy" - have you ever refused a buddy?

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HOLY CRAP. wow.
As you can see, it can go bad really quick... :eyebrow:
Btw, that dude is full of surprises: every time I've been on the boat with him around something new (and bad, of course) happen to him or to his buddies...
 
...
The 3rd guy let his newly graduated sil go almost ooa he had 500 psi when I finally checked his spg I gave him my octo and immediately surfaced where the instructor and myself promptly gave the fil an ass reaming so hard he couldn't sit down for a month.
This is as bad as the NDL run for the surface.

With 500 psi they still have 1/6 gas left. Yes head up, but you don’t need to donate an octopus, just ascend normally. Even if they drank 1500 in 20 minutes, they still have at least 4 minutes left at their breathing rate. Shoving at octopus at them is going to increase their panic.

It used to be the norm to start the ascent when we hit 30bar (435 psi).
 
A quick question about the dive plan talk with your buddy...

Doesn't the DM give the dive plan? When you plan with your buddy, is it more about what hand signals they use, and how close together you want to stay... that sort of thing?

(And thank you *everyone* for all the great advice and answers)
Totally depends on the dive op and location. Here in So Cal, the DM will generally give a dive briefing that describes the dive site, depth, maximum dive time allowed for the dive, where you should be diving (point to point) and the prevailing current, if any.

The Dive plan is definitely a buddy decision. The buddy team needs to determine the direction of the dive, length of dive, the dive profile, maximum depth, turn pressure, hand signals, who is leading and navigating, what PSI to begin ascent for the safety stop and on and on...
The DM will not be getting into the water unless a rescue is required.
 
The worst buddy i ever had was a brand new divemaster on the Spiegel Grove several years ago I was an aow diver with nitrox cert. I was alone and told I could get buddy on the boat. If was my 2nd ocean Dive. I got to the boat and was told I had to hire a DM so I paid 70 bucks for her to dive with me. It was two tank dive on the Grove this was something i wanted to do for years. I forced the dive plan to be made. I had prepared for this dive for long time knew what I wanted to do asked her if this was ok or if she had other ideas she said no looks like great plan. So we get down to the deck after pulling myself down to the wreck past the biggest fish I ever saw I had no clue barrcuda could get that big. We got down to the deck i know this was in my skill zone and knew I had done my homework. What i did not plan on was having to rescue my DM guide that i just paid 70 bucks for. Her tank came lose and she was starting to remove her bcd to attach it again i stopped her fixed it for her Then finished the dive it was agreed what at 1800 psi dive was to be turned and we would go up to the super structure then head up for our stop. I kept asking how much air she had never did get much of a response. On our stop I look at her guage it read 300 psi i still had over 900 psi. I just knew she was going to be ooa soon. We made it top side on our own but i sure she was really low and I asked her y she was so low she said I am to watch you so i forgot to look at my guage. The second dive We stayed shallow and I watched her like a hawk but it was over. Then found out she just got to the keys that morning I was her first ever person she was paid to guide. Lol opps. But even with all that it was the best dive I have ever done the fish were great. Wreck was great just could not believe I paid extra 70 to baby sit .lol she said after the dive I was great dive buddy and i did not need her. I am always nice told her she was too but back of my mind yep I did not need you but u need me and I paid you 70 bucks to do it. Lol i found out this was her fi
 
One thing I haven't read is about is the diver that "swims" while diving. I know of one friend that denied his arms flailing about, until I accidentally caught on video (really, it was purely accidental).

I was that guy for about my first two or three years. Then one day a friend brought a new camera and wanted to practice taking some video ... so I got to be her subject. Watching it later I said I didn't realize I was flailing my arms like that. She said I do it all the time. Nobody had ever said a word ... and by then I already had a pretty good collection of c-cards. So I started paying more attention ... and it took some long-term effort to break myself of the habit.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)
 
A quick question about the dive plan talk with your buddy...

Doesn't the DM give the dive plan? When you plan with your buddy, is it more about what hand signals they use, and how close together you want to stay... that sort of thing?

(And thank you *everyone* for all the great advice and answers)

The boat crew generally gives a dive briefing, which describes the site and provides some recommendations for how to dive it. The dive plan is between you and your buddy. Yes, you certainly talk about hand signals and buddy positioning (there's more to that than proximity). But you also want to discuss how deep you wish to go, perhaps bottom time or turn pressure, what you hope to see, and expectations (for example, let's make sure to get your buddy's attention before stopping of swimming off in a different direction). You should go over each other's gear, make sure you know how your buddy's configured and what to do if you have to share air, etc.

The briefing is about the site ... the plan is about the dive. The boat crew is not responsible for your dive plan ... you are.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)
 
On the original question, although it's been implied by those who said good communication before the dive (discussing a plan, etc.) is important, a sign of a possible bad prospective buddy is someone who reacts to your attempt to engage in communication with a terse "sure" while continuing to assemble his gear, or something alone those lines. If the discussion doesn't seem to be a true two-way discussion, that could be a sign. Communication doesn't get BETTER underwater.
 
I've never refused a dive buddy, but then as a working DM I never had that option. :)

I always tried to pair up divers with similar skill levels. New OWs with other new OWs, photographers with photographers, etc. The dive shops I've worked for didn't put a customer's gear together for them, the diver was expected to do that. However, if they didn't know how then I would assist.

And as the DM I was the one giving the dive briefing and outlining the plan for the dive and conducting the debrief after the dive. For the rare times there were divers on the boat not diving with a DM then I would give a briefing on the dive site and what the back on boat time was but the divers were responsible for their own plan.
 
Now like others have said a good dive buddy will be relaxed prepping their gear. smiling( this is an important one ) and will talk about the dive or ask about the dive
They will verbally refer to you and him as a team in one way shape or form ie: not make it all about him/her they will also let you know their limitations.and not be afraid or embarrassed about them.
But most importantly they will be happy with any dive as long as they get wet
I must be a d*mn good buddy then! :)
 
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