When your buddy's diving goals/style differ from yours

[Dogbowl]

My husband is my buddy. After OW, and after a few dives, I've realized we don't have want to go down the same diving path. He wants to be a vacation diver once or twice a year. For the rest of the year he doesn't want to talk about scuba. He has no passion for it whatsoever. He's not into courses and just wants to dive for fun.

I, on the other hand, want to learn, learn, learn. I wanna get my AOW, nitrox, rescue and maybe even fundamentals and cavern.

Of course, it's better to have a close buddy to do all these things with me. He'll very reluctantly agree with some of the courses, but unlikely for others. It's like pulling teeth to have him agree. I'm sad and frustrated as hell. What should I do?

What's ironic is that he's a natural diver in the water; things just come much more naturally to him, like trim and buoyancy. I, on the other hand, struggle with these things but have the correct attitude.

 

[SoFlaDiver954]

You have the "correct" attitude for what you want to do, but you should not browbeat your buddy into doing dives they are not comfortable with. If your diving aspirations are grander than his, I would suggest you find a new buddy whose ambitions aline more closely with yours. My wife loves to dive and we dive together almost every weekend. She does not do anything beyond rec limits, though. So she skips the tech stuff and I have dive buddies that are trained, ready and willing to do those dives with me.

You can encourage your buddy to be a better diver, but you should not push them to do something they are not comfortable with. That could end up being dangerous for both of you.

 

[Russjstewart]

Hi Dogbowl,
Slightly off topic, but hopefully of some help.

My main dive buddy and partner in life (did I really just type that?) share similar dive styles right down to air consumption. However I like rust and Judy is a fish freak. We both like diving enough to find the others prefererable dives enjoyable.

Judy is a school.teacher and as such has far more leave than I do. I am more than than happy to see her take off somewhere by herself to go diving, when I am stuck at work.

If he doesn't want to go diving, leave him at home, someone has to do the housework

 

[dbnewton]

Excitement is contagious. Can you both join a club where everyone is sharing ideas, stories and photos and such?

 

[Imla]

Go Dive! Find someone else do dive your dives with you. When he wants to dive, dive with him... when he doesn't, go do your own thing!

 

[The Chairman]

Yeah, let him do the housework while you go dive.

 

[Dogbowl]

Thanks for everyone's thoughts. Just disappointed he's not as into it as me.

 

[DiverDave43]

I'd say join a club and find others who want to learn and dive with you.

 

[FinnMom]

Be glad you have a husband with which to enjoy some vacation diving and definely do not pester him. Make a very distinct point of not pestering him. If you want him to enjoy diving do not give him reason to wish neither one of you ever took the course. In general pestering people you don't wish to have out of your life is not productive.

Find new friends with whom you can enjoy your hobby, look for clubs, or other local dive communities, look in on some shops and see if you can find local divers thru them, maybe also check for dive clubs at colleges and universities - even if the students are too young, the club advisors might know more local divers and/or clubs.

 

[Bert van den Berg]

Agree with Diver Dave, join a club. Get your hubby to go to the club with you a few times and see if the social aspect of diving don't peak his interest. That's what happened to my wife. She had zero interest in diving until I joined a club. Then she decided to learn to dive, and one of the reasons was to be able to join in with her new found friends.