Close call in the dressing room
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Atsbits
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Having spent the last few days laughing myself to tears reading this thread, And earning the "oh, he's the local crazy guy of the school of metallurgical engineering" title for the third year running, I decided to post my traumatic mishap with wetsuit trial and error at the lds. Also thought this thread needed to be bumped because of sheer entertainment vaue.
Upon commencing my open water course, we were told to have all our soft kit ready by pool sessions so I headed off to a recommended shop to acquire my kit. What I didn't expect were the 2 hot chicks assisting at the store that afternoon.
Being endowed with a fair amount of bioprene, I turned my charm factor on full and got more than pity laughs as we 3 gathered the more mundane equipment. They decided to save the wetsuit fitting till the end after all the other stuff was sorted out.
Everything was going pretty well up to that point when a decision was made to try to fit me into a L wetsuit. I, gracefully acceding to their obviously superior knowledge of diving stuff, went along with their decision and began the first epic battle of my life.
Off we went to the curtained off fitting room. I began, as most people would by trying on the feet and legs in first approach. Having failed miserably to get my feet past the calf section, I thought it would be a great idea to get my arms in and use the added leverage to haul my legs through. This proved to be utterly unworkable but was beyond the point of no return by the time I realized this. Hot, sweaty and slightly out of breath, I began to squirm my way out, flailing and kicking, lost in a blur of black neoprene as vile curses rang in my head. I avoided vocal outbursts as I could hear the chittering of the two assistants just beyond the curtain. Having extricated myself from the clutches of my vindictive neoprene opponent, I composed myself as best as I could and headed back to the wetsuit rack.
The next one was 2 sizes bigger, (I insisted), and headed back for the fitting rooms. This one was also a struggle as I was slick from my previous battle. It did go on this time. While flapping around with the wetsuit, I had not noticed that the cute little chittering had grown to a full chorus. I stepped out for the fit check and into a gaggle of girls. Our assistants' friends had arrived.
Hoping they hadn't noticed, I turned and tried to get back in but I was too late. One of the assistants called me over. She poked and pinched and prodded all kinds of places before declaring it fit. My furious blushes were hidden by my excuses of a hot day and wetsuit fighting. Just when I thought it was all over, a wave of giggles spread through the group of 4 before one excitedly shouted "model it for us!". Being game and charming, I strutted for all I was worth throwing zoolanderesqe "blue steel" poses as I walked along with laughter all around me. I did a lap... Or 3... Around the area and headed back to remove the suit.
Burdened by all my new gear, I headed towards the check out area. When I reached the till, the elderly gentleman I had not noticed when I came in, (I was slightly distracted...by gear and stuff...), was ringing up my items. He smiled at me and said, "that was quite a show you put on there, you can get a discount just for sheer entertainment value"
Unfortunately, the only numbers I got that day were in the form of a hefty bill. But it did set the tone for the rest of my diving so far which has been fun, and expensive, since the day I started.
Upon commencing my open water course, we were told to have all our soft kit ready by pool sessions so I headed off to a recommended shop to acquire my kit. What I didn't expect were the 2 hot chicks assisting at the store that afternoon.
Being endowed with a fair amount of bioprene, I turned my charm factor on full and got more than pity laughs as we 3 gathered the more mundane equipment. They decided to save the wetsuit fitting till the end after all the other stuff was sorted out.
Everything was going pretty well up to that point when a decision was made to try to fit me into a L wetsuit. I, gracefully acceding to their obviously superior knowledge of diving stuff, went along with their decision and began the first epic battle of my life.
Off we went to the curtained off fitting room. I began, as most people would by trying on the feet and legs in first approach. Having failed miserably to get my feet past the calf section, I thought it would be a great idea to get my arms in and use the added leverage to haul my legs through. This proved to be utterly unworkable but was beyond the point of no return by the time I realized this. Hot, sweaty and slightly out of breath, I began to squirm my way out, flailing and kicking, lost in a blur of black neoprene as vile curses rang in my head. I avoided vocal outbursts as I could hear the chittering of the two assistants just beyond the curtain. Having extricated myself from the clutches of my vindictive neoprene opponent, I composed myself as best as I could and headed back to the wetsuit rack.
The next one was 2 sizes bigger, (I insisted), and headed back for the fitting rooms. This one was also a struggle as I was slick from my previous battle. It did go on this time. While flapping around with the wetsuit, I had not noticed that the cute little chittering had grown to a full chorus. I stepped out for the fit check and into a gaggle of girls. Our assistants' friends had arrived.
Hoping they hadn't noticed, I turned and tried to get back in but I was too late. One of the assistants called me over. She poked and pinched and prodded all kinds of places before declaring it fit. My furious blushes were hidden by my excuses of a hot day and wetsuit fighting. Just when I thought it was all over, a wave of giggles spread through the group of 4 before one excitedly shouted "model it for us!". Being game and charming, I strutted for all I was worth throwing zoolanderesqe "blue steel" poses as I walked along with laughter all around me. I did a lap... Or 3... Around the area and headed back to remove the suit.
Burdened by all my new gear, I headed towards the check out area. When I reached the till, the elderly gentleman I had not noticed when I came in, (I was slightly distracted...by gear and stuff...), was ringing up my items. He smiled at me and said, "that was quite a show you put on there, you can get a discount just for sheer entertainment value"
Unfortunately, the only numbers I got that day were in the form of a hefty bill. But it did set the tone for the rest of my diving so far which has been fun, and expensive, since the day I started.
KJ4SFL
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I remember dry suit class and a new untrimmed neck seal.....similar experience. Oh the things that friends will video of you doing to harass you later with.
edwardjohnson
Registered
I did have my fair share of wetsuit struggle but it was thanks to my own incompetence. The day before diving I fell near the dock and the wooden platform litteraly took the skin off the front of my leg, showing fat (white stuff) for 2 seconds then started to bleed. After waiting one painful night and despite many attempts to stop me from diving, I did put my wetsuit on and jumped in. No sharks around and so far so good. Pain wasnt too awful considering half of my leg skin was gone...
The funny part is when I was taking off the wetsuit: The part where the skin was torn off started to form a layer to heal and was pretty much stuck to the wetsuit instead of my foot. It did not look as I took it off and dropped it on the boat infront of 10 other divers (girls included). The best line was "Ew it looks like a week´s old omelette"
Now I got a cool battle scar that only you guys and I know the truth
The funny part is when I was taking off the wetsuit: The part where the skin was torn off started to form a layer to heal and was pretty much stuck to the wetsuit instead of my foot. It did not look as I took it off and dropped it on the boat infront of 10 other divers (girls included). The best line was "Ew it looks like a week´s old omelette"
Now I got a cool battle scar that only you guys and I know the truth
OP
It was the beginning of the scuba class, and I handed out equipment--BCDs, regulators, wetsuits. I showed them how to put them on, with the zipper in the back. We did all the preliminary stuff, the swimming, floating, and equipment setup, and it was time to put on the wet suits. I had some stuff to do while they did it, and when I looked up, I saw that the class was fully dressed except for one gentleman who was sitting in a chair and struggling to get his suit up his legs. I was quite sure I had sized him properly, so I was surprised he was having so much trouble. Even with a suit that is a bit too small, it should not be that hard to get the legs in.
So I went over to him to see if I could help. Man did those wet suit legs look small! I tried to help pull them up, but no dive. Then I saw the problem.
He was trying to put his legs in the wet suit's arms.
So I went over to him to see if I could help. Man did those wet suit legs look small! I tried to help pull them up, but no dive. Then I saw the problem.
He was trying to put his legs in the wet suit's arms.
xyrandomyx
Contributor
Memories of this thread kept me from trying on my newly-acquired drysuit without an instructor present.
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The resurrection of this thread has kept me from trying on my newly-acquired drysuit without at least one of my clubmates present 
Timmyjoe
Contributor
Wish I'd read this thread before heading to my LDS to find a 7mm hood for my AOW. Even though the one I chose from the shelf turned out to be a size or two too small, it slid on over my head pretty easily. But it was WAY TOO TIGHT on my neck and made it difficult to breath. Tried to pull it off and the neck got stuck over my mouth and nose, cutting off all air. Total panic for about fifteen seconds as I tugged and tugged trying to get the darn thing off. Finally free, I quietly put it back on the shelf and walked to another part of the store to compose myself.
You take your life in your hands going into these dive shops.
Best,
-Tim
You take your life in your hands going into these dive shops.
Best,
-Tim
Thought this thread needed a bump. I need to investigate how to remove coffee from a keyboard now though
I don't have any stories to post though having tried my 7mm one piece wetsuit on (for my OW course) in the diving schools changing room which thankfully was huge and had benches. Did only take me 25 minutes, the instructor and half of a large talc bottle to do it which I now realise was actually pretty good for a first go!
Second time I tried the inside out method and did it in 10 minutes!
Thank god I had a separate hood though
I don't have any stories to post though having tried my 7mm one piece wetsuit on (for my OW course) in the diving schools changing room which thankfully was huge and had benches. Did only take me 25 minutes, the instructor and half of a large talc bottle to do it which I now realise was actually pretty good for a first go!
Second time I tried the inside out method and did it in 10 minutes!
Thank god I had a separate hood though
Just spent 3 days training US soldiers in OWD. Putting on the suits was hilarious! So many put them on backwards. One guy ended up with a ladies suit and wondered why all the excess material in the front! 
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