Close call in the dressing room

[scc135]

OK, here goes.

Backstory: I've been looking to get a drysuit for some time but have balked at the pricing since there are other priorities in my life such as eating and keeping a roof over my head. So I lurk the classifieds for some miraculous deal and low and behold, I find a used santi suit well within my price range. I hash out the details with the owner and the dimensions he gives me are ranges where I'm in the higher part of. I've been looking to drop some bioprene and should fit fine after a few lbs off. I take the plunge and get the suit.

The Incident: It arrives on a nice sunny, hot and humid day and my apartment is equally hot and humid, but I'm excited to try it on, being new gear and all. Thinking it too hot to wear a skin under the undergarment, I put it on. So what if I was sunburnt from the day before? Struggling to get it on, I noticed it was tight around the legs. Soldier on. I noticed it was a bit tight around the waist. Soldier on. I noticed that it was a bit short. Soldier on! By some magic of contortion my arm slips the suit over my shoulders and I zip it up. I then realize how irritated my skin was due to my sunburns. I start really sweating now due to the heat. Oh well, I think, maybe it'll fit when I drop the lbs, but really thinking it most likely will never fit. My mobility is limited and now I'm just very uncomfortable sweating and with very irritated skin. I unzip and shrug out of one shoulder. Or at least, I tried to. Nope, it was stuck on good. And my left arm was too restricted to help get it over my right shoulder. Now VERY sweating and irritated, I realize I might be stuck in this without some assistance. And what do you know, there's no one else home. My roommate wouldn't be for another 7 hours. Extremely hot and agitated, I pace around the apartment looking for a potential tool to use, pouring sweat now, and my skin feels like it's on fire from being rubbed inside this undergarment. I turn on the AC but I barely feel it other than my face. In the following 15 minutes (or what felt like hours) I manage to hop, pull, spin, and contort, and swear all without managing the budge the garment one bit. In my absolute brilliance, I tried to wedge the undergarment under a door knob to use it to help pull it off my shoulder. I end up losing my balance and falling on the floor. Not my best moment. The bad karma gods must have surely have had their fill as I finally managed to get the suit off. How? Well, rubbing the garment against the wall inching it off while contorting my body in ways only a gymnast should cursing and swearing at myself for trying on something that I had multiple mental warnings was too small.

The aftermath: Well, 5 lbs off so far...

 

[ScubaSam]

OK, here goes.

Backstory: I've been looking to get a drysuit for some time but have balked at the pricing since there are other priorities in my life such as eating and keeping a roof over my head. So I lurk the classifieds for some miraculous deal and low and behold, I find a used santi suit well within my price range. I hash out the details with the owner and the dimensions he gives me are ranges where I'm in the higher part of. I've been looking to drop some bioprene and should fit fine after a few lbs off. I take the plunge and get the suit.

The Incident: It arrives on a nice sunny, hot and humid day and my apartment is equally hot and humid, but I'm excited to try it on, being new gear and all. Thinking it too hot to wear a skin under the undergarment, I put it on. So what if I was sunburnt from the day before? Struggling to get it on, I noticed it was tight around the legs. Soldier on. I noticed it was a bit tight around the waist. Soldier on. I noticed that it was a bit short. Soldier on! By some magic of contortion my arm slips the suit over my shoulders and I zip it up. I then realize how irritated my skin was due to my sunburns. I start really sweating now due to the heat. Oh well, I think, maybe it'll fit when I drop the lbs, but really thinking it most likely will never fit. My mobility is limited and now I'm just very uncomfortable sweating and with very irritated skin. I unzip and shrug out of one shoulder. Or at least, I tried to. Nope, it was stuck on good. And my left arm was too restricted to help get it over my right shoulder. Now VERY sweating and irritated, I realize I might be stuck in this without some assistance. And what do you know, there's no one else home. My roommate wouldn't be for another 7 hours. Extremely hot and agitated, I pace around the apartment looking for a potential tool to use, pouring sweat now, and my skin feels like it's on fire from being rubbed inside this undergarment. I turn on the AC but I barely feel it other than my face. In the following 15 minutes (or what felt like hours) I manage to hop, pull, spin, and contort, and swear all without managing the budge the garment one bit. In my absolute brilliance, I tried to wedge the undergarment under a door knob to use it to help pull it off my shoulder. I end up losing my balance and falling on the floor. Not my best moment. The bad karma gods must have surely have had their fill as I finally managed to get the suit off. How? Well, rubbing the garment against the wall inching it off while contorting my body in ways only a gymnast should cursing and swearing at myself for trying on something that I had multiple mental warnings was too small.

The aftermath: Well, 5 lbs off so far...

Like the other funny stories in this thread, this would have made a great YouTube video. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Surface Interval]

one of my favorite threads to come back and visit!

 

[bowlofpetunias]

*disclaimer: some of the"facts" may not be completely accurate.

Little bit of history (this is needed to provide the setting):
My family and I (we have 5 children) have been living in Estonia (cold Baltic country) for 3 years as missionaries. We made friends with a decent group of people. Last year in mass this group decided to get scuba certified (seems I am having better luck getting them in the water than in church, hmmm).

I was certified 25 years ago, so I have been a diver a long time. However, with 5 children, and being a preacher (read, “Preaching in church Sunday morning, not breathing through a regulator!”) I am not able to get in the water as often as I would like! Plus those 5 critters eat a lot and somehow they don’t get the idea that 1st and 2nd stages are far more important than milk and eggs, so money usually gets frivolously wasted at the grocery store instead of prudently invested at the LDS (how selfish of them.)

The group had chartered a boat for a wreck dive in relatively shallow water. This was going to be my first time diving in Estonia and I hadn’t been in the water for 3 years. I did own “farmer johns” for years, but it wasn’t a new suit when I got it (read “OLD tech”). I had never been properly “introduced” to a state of the art, 1-piece, rear-zip 7mm suit (inc. shin and knee guards) with accompanying 5mm hooded shorty. However, I had ditched my oldey-moldey wetsuit some time ago.


We all entered this dive shop to rent gear. I felt a little better because I still had my own mask, fins, booties, gloves, etc. The rest of the group rented everything. I could see the look of contempt for a slightly (???) overweight preacher change to one of profound respect when I smugly announced to the guy that I would NOT need the above mentioned items. Now Estonians are descendants of the Spartans who studied the philosophical views of the Stoics. They are NOT known for excessive (or even minute, for that matter) or effusive emotions. Got it? (With stoic Estonians you have to really pay attention to these subtle signals; he raised his left eyebrow a millimeter or so, so I KNEW he was impressed with me.)

He looked at me and handed me an XL 7mm, and XL shortie (Scandinavian suits run a size or two too small I’m told.) and said, “Better try it on.” We are in the “gear room”. I think that it was a 100-man Finnish sauna before the shop started rented the place. All they did was remove the seating and turn up the thermostat a little. I had been warned to not bring my coffee into the room because it would boil away before I could drink it.

Here is this whole group of my friends (all men) watching as I stripped to my skivvies and nonchalantly proceeded to step into this stupid suit backwards (zipper in the front). They all stopped doing what they were doing to watch. I remember thinking, “Hmm, that’s odd. I wonder why they are all watching me. It is awful quiet in here. Haven’t they ever seen anyone put on a wetsuit before?” (Not like THAT they haven’t!!)

This whole time I am chanting this mantra under my breath, “Don’t cuss - you’re a preacher. Don’t cuss - you’re a preacher.”

Of course, being a former Marine, I wasn’t going to let a foreign wetsuit whip me, so I plowed ahead, tugging and pulling and finally got the stupid thing over my shoulders and zipped. (Oh, the male ego!) By this time, I am about to have a heat stroke and I am thinking, “Boy, technology sure hasn’t done much to improve wetsuits in the last 30 years. These things are MORE uncomfortable than they were years ago! And what in the world are this plastic like calf guards for on the back of my legs. Boy, it that dumb! This stupid suit is sure baggy in some areas and overly tight in others. Talk about stupid! Man, the neck is too high in the front. How is anyone supposed to breathe?! It’s choking me!”

Talk about choking! Nobody said anything for a few minutes and NOBODY even cracked a smile. Then one man said, “Suits on backwards.” That was all! Nobody is moving yet. They are all still staring.

Course my face is already so red from the 685 degree* heat that it couldn’t have gotten any redder, but have you ever tried to get one of those buggers off when it has been put on backwards???

Then I pulled out my fins from my dive bag to put them in the boxes that were going to the boat. When they saw my bright yellow Force Fins, Arno (one of the men) yelled, “Look! Donald Duck!” That was it. They lost it. All started laughing out loud. They couldn’t take anymore. Even Estonians have limits.

I bet this guy has them rolling in the aisles on Sundays! May just be the funniest post after the OP of course!

 

[chachita]

I found myself unexpectedly in Curacao in September without my dive gear and thought I'd make a couple of dives while on the island. I had to rent all equipment and, because it was so much warmer than at Xmas, I skipped the wetsuit and dove in a t-Shirt instead. What a joy!!! Also, not having any of the doodads and gizmos I've acquired made it possible to connect the tanks to the BC, put it on, grab the mask and fins and enter the water in five minutes!!!

 

[Zen Diving Inc.]

So I went into the dressing room to try on a new hooded vest. It had some kind of a slick inner lining that is supposed to cling to your skin. It certainly did. It was a tad tight, and I had a difficult time getting it on.

Getting it off was even harder, I pulled on it with everything I had, and my now heavily perspired skin seemed to make moving it impossible. I managed to get it halfway off, and then I realized two things:

1. It really wasn't going anywhere.
2. I couldn't breathe.

The mouth and nose area were surrounded by wet suit. As the hypercapnia breathing reflex swept over me, I managed to pull the hood down and breathe. Once my breathing returned to normal, I gave it another shot. Same result. I thought I was having a near death experience, but the light at the end of the tunnel turned out to be coming through the face hole in the hood.

I managed to pull it back on fully and went out to the floor, where I got help to peel it off.

Questions:

If I had died, would this have been considered a scuba accident?

Should I notify DAN?

I realize this is an old thread... I just couldn't stop laughing after reading it... Next time you think putting on a smaller size will make you look thinner, don't and you wont find yourself on the next 100 ways to die series. I might use this in my next class when its time to talk about selecting a wetsuit. Maybe we can do like a 5min presentation on safety issues when trying on a wetsuit.

 

[boulderjohn]

For reasons too complicated to explain here, I still have that hooded vest. It still has its tag on it, because I haven't gotten any skinnier. It is a size large. I will take a reasonable offer for that killer vest.

 

[sibermike7]

I bet this guy has them rolling in the aisles on Sundays! May just be the funniest post after the OP of course!

Thanks Pet! I try!

 

[bowlofpetunias]

Welllll it didn't happen in the dressing room butt....

My husband and I have fairly similar gear.... there are a few exceptions mostly related to numbers of zippers to accommodate differing anatomies and.. well circumference of specific parts....

Last year on my trip to Canada I decided to make a quick trip across the states so I could cross another item off my bucket list. I wanted to become a BHB Troll and dive Florida. Typical for me, I worked right up to the departure date and found myself packing in a hurry. I didn't pay quite enough attention to my packing:doh:

First dive, Scuba Jenny volunteered to take me to Venice Beach to look for teeth. Conditions were shall we say questionable but we decided to give it a try since we were there anyway. I donned my sharkskin (polar fleece with an outer layer of lycra)and noticed it was a bit loose. I didn't think twice about it. Interesting entry through the surf and we swam out a bit. Looked pretty poor viz.. but what the heck! We decided to descend.. I found the bottom with my hand... Jenny found the bottom with her head as she was trying to be a good buddy and keep her eye on me. I couldn't see my own fins and we had to stay within arm's length to see each other.. barely. Surge was pushing us around so we decided to surface so we could talk.

Jenny didn't think the viz would get any better and we were quite a ways from the "good spot". Since the purpose of the dive was to find teeth.. and the only way we would find one would be if we accidentally landed on one... our noses would have had to be glued to the bottom we decided we were unlikely to achieve the purpose of the dive and decided to thumb the dive. The exit through the surf zone, on loose sand/pebbles was awkward shall we say..I felt like I was all tangled in my suit and awkward.

I managed to stumble up the slope feeling like I was a beached whale. I was tripping over myself and couldn't take a decent step. Then I looked down.... My crotch was below my knees restricting my steps! I tried to take another step and noticed my leg looked like an over filled water balloon and it collided with/bounced off my other water balloon leg! I couldn't see my feet!

My husband likes to drill a hole in his boots to allow water to drain out and removal of the boots easier. I don't! My boots were blocking the water from escaping. The only way for the water to drain out was rather slowly through the material of the suit. The weight of the water was pulling it down and creating the water balloons! I raised one leg to assist the drainage and Jenny had to good grace to "not notice" my posing like some weird over sized balloon animal!

I managed to drain most of the water with my foot raising and hopping about. I was pleased that I managed to stay well... kinda upright! The problem was that my crotch was still between my knees making walking rather difficult! I stumbled along trailing Jenny back to her car. I am embarrassed to admit I didn't figure out the problem until I went to remove the suit and discovered the extra zipper! I had my husband's suit! Turned out that the sharkskin was too warm (about 1.5 mil equivalent) for diving in Florida anyway! I bought a dive skin which was still a bit too warm! Being used to more temperate diving, I spent some of my Florida dives looking for cooler thermoclimes. I didn't want to admit that I was finding the water too hot when some of the locals were complaining about being cold. All in what you get used to!

I am much more careful when I pack now::

 

[sibermike7]

Wanted to say thanks to Jenny for 1.) surreptitiously taping the video of this event (I couldn't believe that bowlofpetunias didn't even notice!) and 2.) posting it to youtube for everyone to enjoy. Thanks Jenny!!!