HELP me pee...

Please register or login

Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.

Benefits of registering include

  • Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
  • A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
  • You can make this box go away

Joining is quick and easy. Log in or Register now!

Ok, since you wouldn't (couldn't) take my "shake it suggestion" perhaps you should try a more vigorous on-shore training regimen.

Either at home or your favorite watering hole (with designated driver) drink three beers as quickly as you can. Now, think of a reason why you absolutely have to stay where you are (big play in football game, interesting conversation with 'person of interest', notice long line at the bathroom door) these will generally cause a spontaneous and overwhelming need to pee. Allow yourself to 'release' at your earliest convenience, but but continue to drink beer at a moderate pace. You'll pee often. This will train your muscles 'there' to communicate with your brain. Repeat this training session as often as your head will allow. :D View attachment 104540
 
Ok, since you wouldn't (couldn't) take my "shake it suggestion" perhaps you should try a more vigorous on-shore training regimen.

Either at home or your favorite watering hole (with designated driver) drink three beers as quickly as you can. Now, think of a reason why you absolutely have to stay where you are (big play in football game, interesting conversation with 'person of interest', notice long line at the bathroom door) these will generally cause a spontaneous and overwhelming need to pee. Allow yourself to 'release' at your earliest convenience, but but continue to drink beer at a moderate pace. You'll pee often. This will train your muscles 'there' to communicate with your brain. Repeat this training session as often as your head will allow. :D View attachment 104540

Over the years I've heard, and invented, any number of reasons to drink beer ... somehow "training my bladder to pee on command" has never been one of them. I truly wish I'd heard of this one back in my younger days, when I drank more often ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)
 
Bob, I'm sure you participated in enough training sessions, but unless you have your head in the game it's like taking batting practice with wiffle balls. :D
 
You're suffering from a classic case of Situational Dysfunctional Urination. You can easily overcome this with a few simple steps. First you need some Depends unless you can live in Central, Prospect, or Van Cortlandt Parks naked for a week. I gotta figure that you're stuck with living indoors, so Depends it is.
The first time you let fly in them is the toughest. After that, you'll be able to be lying there in bed or at work or riding on the subway, and when you have to go, well, you'll go. You'll graduate from being a victim of SDU when you're having a serious talk with a senior authority in your life like the CEO of your company or Commissioner Kelly of the NYPD or your mom and right in the middle of an earnest discussion on corporate strategies or combatting urban terrorism or when are you having a(nother) kid and you ace the wiz quiz right in the middle of your confab without missing a beat.
Since we're only dealing with P-valve training here and not mentioning S-valves at all, you'll want to remember what the Number One topic you're dealing with is and NOT digress into Situational Area Number Two.
That is, unless what you are talking about is so unpleasant that you really, really want to end the discussion. I know that if I was tearing a new one in someone and they launched into Topic Number Two, I'd be done talking to them.
Good luck with this serious condition.
 
Sammie, with age comes being able to pee anytime, anywhere, in anything! Sometimes I'll be on the boat, counting the minutes until our next dive cuz I gotta pee so bad, then once I jump in forget about it until almost climbing back on the boat. Then I wait patiently for everyone else to climb on the boat while I relieve.....wait a minute...be right back....I gotta peee.....ok, here I am again....myself, then rinse out well with the hose once I climb back on board. After you do it once, and feel the incredible relief, you'll be able to let loose anytime you need to! :eyebrow:
 
Bob, I'm sure you participated in enough training sessions, but unless you have your head in the game it's like taking batting practice with wiffle balls. :D

During some of those training sessions I wouldn't have even been able to see the wiffle ball ... much less swing at it ... and I'd've probably pee'd myself if I'd tried ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)
 
Sammie.....maybe my backpacking experience will help...i had a diffcult time relaxing in the woods...very vulnerable position! Every time I would start to pee I would tighten up in anxiety.....finally I hit upon something....if I hold a hard kegel then slowly relax the muscle while exhaling slowly my body would relax and the appropriate muscles would relax and let me pee.

Maybe it will work below the surface.

Sent from my SCH-I800 using Tapatalk
 
Now, Guys. If you are poker players...you all trained your bodies not to break the seal. IJS Now..Sam's a chick, but maybe she has been around men for too long. JS
 
Now, Guys. If you are poker players...you all trained your bodies not to break the seal. IJS Now..Sam's a chick, but maybe she has been around men for too long. JS

When I use to play poker all my poker buddies were men, then they all got married and had little kiddies so no more poker nights anymore. That was how I picked up cigars smoking which I partake in every now and then. :D

So maybe a habit I picked up during my poker playing days is mucking with my underwater peeing...:hm:
 
Sammie.....maybe my backpacking experience will help..
If you want to poop in the woods, act like a bear. If you want to pee in the sea, act like a fish. Make that little pucker face and away we go.

many, many moons ago when I was but a DM, I was helping a class in Alexander Springs. The class consisted mostly of teeny tiny teenage girls and even though they were in wetsuits, they were freezing. We were standing in the sand while the instructor was going over his debriefing, when one of the girls exclaimed "I found a warm spot". The instructor suggested quickly that someone must have peed. As the girls were saying "uh-huh" to his little joke, I raised my hand and contritely said "Sorry!" Dang did they move out of that spot quickly. I almost peed in my pants but my bladder was empty. :D
 
https://www.shearwater.com/products/peregrine/

Back
Top Bottom