Funniest Diving quotes you have heard

[sparkinator]

My son got qualified at 10 years old and so we made our own version as well... Boys With Really Awful Farts. Corney I know but worked well for a 10yr old!!!

 

[SloopCamotop]

Guy at bar gets off stool (11:00 am) to ask instructor teaching students in pool across street from shop "whats it take to get certified?" I catch end of conversation . .

"Well I'm going to be drinking all day, so going over there would put a kink in my plans . . . ."

 

[turnerjd]

Not suitable fou our younger divers but we always taught:

Big
Women / willies (depending on students preference)
Really
Are
Fun


Jon

 

[oldogre]

Another variation
Bangkock
Women
Really
Are not
Female

 

[dmoore19]

Beer
With
Ribs
and
Fries

 

[~ dry]

Bail
When
Restrictive
Acronyms
Fail

 

[sparkinator]

WoW!!! This has been the best thread... I read all 54 pages and laughed so hard so many times... Thanks for starting this one!!!

 

[miketsp]

When packing up dive gear at the end of the dive day I witnessed a diver holding her very wet Gear bag and computer and a very puzzled look on her face. When asked if something was wrong... "I don't know where to put my computer. If I put it in my bag it will get wet." Sometimes it is just better to walk away.

Her concern is valid. If it stays wet it will remain activated and reduce battery life.

 

[Vassilis Vlachopoulos]

Checking-in on a liveaboard in the Red Sea

DM : What is your certification level ?
Me : (Proudly) I am a Trimix diver ! Here is my card.
DM : Not good. You need to have an OW or AOW card.
Me : Oops sorry, I left my AOW card back home. However, I do have my Advanced Nitrox card with me. Is that ok?
DM : Yes, but in that case you can only dive Nitrox, throughout the liveaboard (!!!)

I guess I was not qualified to dive plain air - too dangerous for me

 

[TSandM]

In the same vein: A friend told me a story of having someone who heard about the dives he was doing, ask him what his certification level was. His answer? "Cert level? I have a PraxAir account!"