significant other taking up diving

[Mike Boswell]

Diving is a great sport for couples and my wife and I love everything about it. Her only complaint has been that I go too fast, and my only complaint has been that she goes too slow. It's all new to her and she wants to take it all in (LOOK! A SEA CUCUMBER!!!), whereas I know if I swim fast I will find a great spot with a lot more cool stuff to see. But ... we compromise, and I have learned that going slower can be good. Sometimes...

As the more experienced diver, you will probably be the instructor/leader. This will work at first, but if she passively relies on you to take care of the gear, do the planning, set the pace, navigate, find the way back, etc., etc. then she won't learn as much, she won't develop the skills and confidence she needs, and you won't have as capable a buddy. On our recent vacation in Roatan, my wife learned some valuable stuff diving with others when I was out with a cold for a few days.

 

[Bubbletrubble]

My advice though, is do not let her develop any sort of dependency on you. She might want you to "help" (aka do her for) her set up her equipment, call all the shots, etc. Don't do it. If she struggles a bit, LET HER. Advice and real help is one thing, but make sure you know where that line is and let her develop independently. I made sure to stay well away from my girlfriend's class, I let her set up her own stuff, carry her own gear, and plan her own dive.

My advice:

(4) Make sure you are each independent (wrt skills, planning, gear maintenance, leading, navigating, etc) when it comes to diving.

@kanonfodr: I have to agree with what PfcAJ and Rainer have said. I think the greatest challenge you will face will be giving your SO room to grow/develop on her own as a diver. Based on your training/experience/personality, it's going to be very tempting to do everything for her -- set up her gear, repair stuff for her, tune her regs, pack the gear for the dive trip, do pre-dive checks, etc. Encourage her to dive with other people. She should feel comfortable diving without you being there.

My gf loves to dive as much as I do. She's my favorite dive buddy. We've taken some really fun dive vacations together. If your experience is anything like mine, you're in for a real treat...

 

[Rainer]

Encourage her to dive with other people.

This one is big. It helps build and ensure independence. That my wife often dives with others has made our dives together more fun. We're better divers for diving with others and a better team because of it.

 

[kanonfodr]

Appreciate all the good words so far. She did her first OW dives today and really enjoyed them. She will finish up tomorrow and it looks like we will have some nice shore diving Saturday to go and celebrate her cert card. I still look forward to hearing more of people's experiences tho, so keep them coming

Peace,
Greg

 

[Darcey]

My ex got me into diving (opposite of your situation) and during the time we were together, everything was great. HOWEVER...I found that once one of us (myself) became more serious than the other about diving and going pro things as far as diving went downhill fast. He didn't take things as seriously as me. I did a lot of diving without him when I got my OW and became very critical of what I looked for in a good dive buddy and my ex just wasn't and isn't it. It caused problems. I think that as long as the two of you are on the same page as far as what you expect from a buddy and have an agreement on dive procedures as far as where you'll be during the dive, ie: side by side, you above, below, behind or in front of her etc. and have a clear understanding of signals you'll be fine. There was many a dive where we exited the water and I wanted to slap him with my fin for abandoning me, not understanding my signals or swimming like he was in a marathon under water which=less bottom time due to higher air consumption. He never cared to work on improving and while I didn't realize it then, I could have been in serious danger or dead if something would have gone wrong on a dive, especially when I was a new diver.

As long as the two of you have an understanding, TRUST each other and are willing to work together I think that everything will be great. I hope to once again have a significant other in my life who either already dives or is willing to dive. There's nothing like sharing the thrill of a dive with the one you love.:cool2:

Good luck!

 

[rollerboi]

It also smooths the waters when you want a new piece of gear

Noooooooo. She knows how much stuff REALLY costs!

 

[WoodyLompoc]

My wife did her 100th dive today (with me).

Her certification had several impacts on my diving.
1) I have not had my spear out of the garage since she got certified. (No big problem.)
2) ALL our vacations now have at least some diving included.
3) I always have a buddy who's technique I am familiar with. (Some insta-buddies do things that confuse me.)
4) How much I spend on gear is no longer an issue!

 

[JohnB47]

Years ago, I had a live-in girlfriend who was my dive buddy. It was great. Then we moved to the mountains, and didn't have time for diving. After a while we broke up.

 

[gzscuba]

I second (or third) the cautions that PfcAJ and TSandM made.
It's also important that an SO is diving because s/he genuinely enjoys it and that they are not just diving because of you.

On a trip a few years ago, we met a couple on the dive boat. He was an instructor and had taught his girlfriend to dive. It seemed to my wife that the girlfriend was diving mostly for him. Suffice to say that her skills were REALLY BAD, roto-tilling the reef, and depending on her boyfriend or the divemaster to help do basic things (like adding air to the BC). It's likely that the boyfriend/instructor was mostly to blame for this situation. By allowing your SO a normal learning curve, you should avoid these sorts of problems.

From your comments, it sounds like your SO is enjoying herself, so that's really good.

 

[highdesert]

My wife/buddy and I certified together, travel and dive together, and still have almost the identical number of dives. We travel big to dive, so when we get there we're both into the minimum 4 dives a day program to justify the trip. It's our best time together and "partners in adventure" time. The only sore spot ... she likes to dawdle behind when we dive. Personally, I'd prefer neither of us got lost, separated, or dead. But since every dive for us is one we've never done or seen, and often involves current, it's a sticky spot we need to fix.