You MIGHT need a buoyancy control class if ...

[MXGratefulDiver]

1. You rely on your silt trail to find your way back to the upline at the end of the dive.
2. The only place you can hover is at the surface.
3. Your scuba kit includes a pair of kneepads.
4. You use half your tank for breathing and the other half for your BCD.
5. You went for one dive, but your computer logged three.
6. You think that being neutral in the water means that you don't fight with your buddy.

Feel free to add to the list ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[D_B]

7 ... The tank boot is for landing on

 

[miesemer]

8. Your left hand rarely releases its grip on your low pressure inflator during a dive.
9. Your right hand is continually moving as if you are waving goodbye (to reduce negative buoyancy).
10. Your macro photos in crystal clear water are full of backscatter.

 

[merxlin]

11. You spend more time picking urchin spines from your body than diving
12. The DM knows you've gotten to the bottom by the thud

 

[BuoyantC]

#13 Your dive buddies think you are just doing your Tetris imitation......

 

[ScubaInChicago]

14. Your dive computer YELLS at you to slow you ascent, EVERY ASCENT.....MULTILPLE TIME IN A DIVE.......

 

[InTheDrink]

Why am I finding this thread kinda trite?

New divers, i.e. many in this forum, are going to have buoyancy issues as they learn.

Finding ways to slagging them off hardly sounds like a constructive start to the new year and Bob, frankly, I'm surprised that you kicked this one off.

Maybe I'm being over-sensitive/delicate having done a full days work after three weeks break. But I don't think so.

Cheers,
J

p.s. I'd likely find this much more hilarious in the DIR forum. No doubt plenty there that need a little reminding

 

[DaleC]

15: None of your logged dives are deeper than 3 feet.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

Why am I finding this thread kinda trite?

New divers, i.e. many in this forum, are going to have buoyancy issues as they learn.

Finding ways to slagging them off hardly sounds like a constructive start to the new year and Bob, frankly, I'm surprised that you kicked this one off.

Maybe I'm being over-sensitive/delicate having done a full days work after three weeks break. But I don't think so.

Cheers,
J

p.s. I'd likely find this much more hilarious in the DIR forum. No doubt plenty there that need a little reminding

Lighten up, turbo ... for a change, ain't nobody naming names or agencies.

Relax ... it's just a bit of fun.

FWIW - all six of those in the OP were me at some point ... which is why I found them funny ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

p.s. - of course you would. It's always easier laughing at someone who "ain't like you".

 

[InTheDrink]

Lighten up, turbo ... for a change, ain't nobody naming names or agencies.

Relax ... it's just a bit of fun.

FWIW - all six of those in the OP were me at some point ... which is why I found them funny ...

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

p.s. - of course you would. It's always easier laughing at someone who "ain't like you".

You should have simply prefaced your post with your FWIW. I've taken on an internal role of new diver defender so expect to get lambasted whenever I feel new divers could feel discouraged. Hardly any biggie.

Re: DIR forum - are you DIR? That wasn't my point. My point was there are many who are quick to criticise that could do with a quick look in the mirror first.

And finally, yes, apologies, I'll lighten up. Like I said, I did a FULL day's work today.

That's gonna make anyone grouchy

J