Why do we bash each other?

[The Chairman]

Too often those who abuse people on the Internet just don't see it as such. They hide behind their concept of being brutally honest, but it's obvious to most that they are merely in love with being brutal.

As the owner of ScubaBoard I am often embarrassed by how some of our veterans treat others and quite often I feel compelled to point it out. That sometimes puts me at odds with a few of our popular posters and that's OK. This forum exists for the many and not the few. Bashing a person, a manufacturer, a shop, a resort, a charter or an agency is uncool. Disagree all you want, but stop when you find yourself obsessing over them. Again, you may not see it, so LISTEN to others. If they constantly point it out, perhaps you have a problem?

Here are a few simple tips to make this a friendlier place:

• If you feel you are attacked: DON'T RETALIATE. Hit the
  
  button and fully explain the issue. We'll do the rest!
• Ask questions rather than make inferences. Give the poster the benefit of the doubt.
• Don't assign motives. That's just rude and is often inflammatory!
• Don't dog pile. We don't need everyone piling on with abuse.
• State your opinion clearly and leave it unless someone asks a question or challenges you directly. Yes, you might need to clarify, but you don't need to make the same assertion over and over and over and over.
• Remember that if we all did things in the same way, it would be a boring forum. Show a little acceptance and empathy.
• Not everyone needs to dive a Backplate and Wing or even a long hose. This doesn't need to be a part of every discussion about BCDs.
• Please don't suggest using the Search Feature. Sure, it's a great feature, but that is so unfriendly. You CAN post the results of a search you have done for them. Help them out.

Lynne, I agree: this doesn't belong in W&C but it does need to be made a sticky.

 

[TheSmoothDome]

I appreciate the responses (with the exception of the first one) that have been provided. I just happened to stumble back into here last night. I haven't even looked at this board for the past 3 years because of all the negativity that I saw back then. Of course there were lots of positive folks out there too, but the attacks made this board seem very unfriendly.

I recently started road biking and found a forum that reminded me of what I perceived SB to be. There, some of the heaviest users pretty much acknowledge that they're an unfriendly bunch who fluctuate from feelings of superiority to self-loathing. I know that many say things like that tongue in cheek, but nearly every thread gets derailed by attacks and put downs.

I hope that while it can't all be weeded out, that the mods are actively working at making this a positive place to visit and share. NetDoc's response makes me believe this to be the case. I hope I can contribute in a way that makes people feel welcome here as well.

 

[Peter_C]

Here is the question..Why in the world from time to time, more frequent than less, do we bash the crap out of each other with crass remarks and holier than thou attitudes, making fun of one another and exclaiming this is the only and right way to do things?

I wonder how many divers are afraid to post because of the fear of being bashed and just lurk. Too bad we don’t have a Un-Thank you rating to classify those posters who consistently are sarcastic so we would know what to expect just by looking at there profile.

Sounds like you have been hanging out in the DIR forum. If it wasn't for posters like TSandM (Even she had to justify herself in this thread) and some others, the DIR folks would have a really bad name. Sucks because some of my best friends are DIR and they are nothing like the way some DIR folks come across on the board (I cringe at the word DIR because of the stigma behind it).

When talking about meeting someone in person and finding a different tone, one of the Scubaboard members here said at our local club dive to us, "You guys are nothing like the DIR guys on the board." The bad name precedes the DIR community as a whole because of a few posters. Point being don't take a few bad apples as the way the whole community is.

Fortunately most people are good hearted and willing to help others. :cool2:

I really like the idea of an un-thank you button Although it probably would be abused

 

[jupitermermaid]

Sometimes divers have warped senses of humor. Being the internet and reading what people are writing, we can't read into the nuances that some people intend to inflect in their postings. For instance, I know some very funny people who post hilarious tongue-in-cheek responses. Since I know them, I know how to read their replys, and know they are not "bashing." They forget that new people are not familiar with the way some people might misread what they are saying.

OTOH, some people get their kicks by being mean and condescending. There is a "block" button for people who continuously annoy you with their posting. Feel free to use it. Otherwise, just ignore the postings that some people feel a need to make to feel superior to others, and be thankful that SB is mostly about helping people, and the majority of people try to respect that.

 

[Cave Diver]

I disagree and all of you are wrong!

 

[Scubahagel]

I'm still fairly new to ScubaBoard, mid May of this year. I have thus far to come across someone posting something in the extreme rude, sarcastic, or disgraceful. However the internet is massive beyond comprehension and growing every day, and those people are out there.

All the LDCs I have been to, and every diver I have met, at home or abroad, have always been welcoming and friendly. But again there are the bad apples out there unfortunately. And those bad apples, regardless of skill or level of experience, are people I just would not associate with, and certainly would not be a dive buddy with one.

Everyone is welcome, but to be here is a privilege, not a right.

 

[divad]

I appreciate the responses (with the exception of the first one)
QUOTE]



I forgot the smiley face again. I apologize if anyone is offended.

 

[TheSmoothDome]

I appreciate the responses (with the exception of the first one)
QUOTE]



I forgot the smiley face again. I apologize if anyone is offended.

Then I rescind my exception .

Have a wonderful day.

 

[S. starfish]

All the LDCs I have been to, and every diver I have met, at home or abroad, have always been welcoming and friendly.

That had been my experience until about a year and a half ago. I'd always heard that "DIR divers" were real butt pirates, but every person that I had met who was DIR or GUE trained (UTD wasn't around at this point) had always been nothing other than pleasant. Then one day while on vacation in the cayman islands with my girlfriend, as we're setting up our gear we hear a loud "Oh my god!" from behind us. A local dive master (maybe instructor) had seen our long hoses and correctly identified us as diving dir (or whatever you'd like to call it). He then went on a tirade about how he had done his fundies and anybody who hadn't couldn't dive and how people would pick on him for his long hose but they all dove crappy equipment setups and he hated being on an island where nobody knew how to dive. I though "Ah, that's where the whole dir divers = turds mentality comes from". Fortunately he's been the only bad apple I've come across, at least in terms of attitude.

 

[GeorgeC]

This poster has said "Un-Thank You" to GeorgeC for this un-useful post.

I appreciate the responses (with the exception of the first one)
QUOTE]


I forgot the smiley face again. I apologize if anyone is offended.

Evad,
When you posted your first message I only took it to be negative. It could have been tongue and cheek but no way of telling. After reading your initial response I said to myself this entire post has the chance of swinging to a bash thread or hopefully a productive thread. Fortunately, no one joined in and realized this is an ongoing issue with not only SB but happens to all of the other Internet forums. You clarified later in the thread and I thank you for that response.

I don’t buy the fact or the excuse “Divers are unique, different (insert your favorite word) than everyone else” as an excuse to justify what the majority of us would consider poor etiquette. I say if we are unique or different then we should elevate our game and treat each other like we are all part of a fraternity. We all started in the same place as everyone else sharing our love for SCUBA with differences in levels of training and experience only separating one another.

I am glad to see others share my point of view….you can attract more bees with a drop of honey rather than a barrel of vinegar.