I got this in an e-mail awhile back
Ever wonder what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day?
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire…
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Heard your wife left you,
How upset your must be.
But don’t fret about it…
She moved in with me.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Looking back over the years
That we’ve been together,
I can’t help but wonder…
“What the hell was I thinking?”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I’ve always want to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I’ve changed my mind.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am..
That you’re not here to ruin it for me.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Happy Birthday! You look great for you age.
Almost lifelike!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When we were together,
you always said you’d die for me.
Now that we’ve broken up,
I think it’s time you kept your promise.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
We have been friends for a very long time…
let’s say we stop?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I’m so miserable without you -
It’s almost like you’re here.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Congratulations on your new bundle of you.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Your friends and I wanted to do
Something special for your birthday.
So we’re having you put to sleep.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
So your daughter’s a hooker,
And it spoiled you day.
Look at the bright side,
It’s really good pay!
