Child diving while sharing regulator

[rollerboi]

Ouch. Hopefully your daughter doesn't decide to stop telling you when her father endangers her life, for fear of not seeing him again. At the same time, you need to know that he seriously put her life in danger above and beyond just forgetting the asthma medicine. Leniency and second chances can only stretch out so far until that "next time" becomes the "last time". :/

At the very least, I would suggest that you record this incident, with witnesses and possibly a report. If something happens in the future, this record will help you help the judge come to a quick decision that will keep your daughter alive.

I'm sorry to hear you're in this position. My sister in law has an ugly custody situation as well, and it's frustrating to watch that one from the sidelines too. Ahh.

 

[fisherdvm]

I would consult an attorney and file a motion with the family court judge assigned to your daughter's case. A counselor needs to be appointed by the court to interview your daughter. A court order can be issued forbidding your ex from attempting this again. Many times, the court will handle this with a mediator and the two attorneys representing each parent.

This is the only way that you can handle the situation without causing bias, harming your relationship with your daughter, and your ex.

It is expensive ... but it is the way how the court system runs.

 

[adurso]

Our daughter said they picked some coral......so I assume it was alive. She uses an inhaler and needs nebulizer treatments w/ prednozone when having attacks. I do not know the experience of the family as divers, I can only assume it is limited since I have never heard them mention diving in the 7 years I have known them. We are not running to get them arrested, and we are not running to the attorney. Just wanted to have the facts before we had a talk with them, about responsibility and stupid actions. My wife has been a diver for 20 years, PADI certified and certified for caves. She is climbing the walls right now. We have never taken our children diving, although we have taken them snorkling.

Sounds like exercise induced asthma; yep that could be dangerous. Check the various agency protocols for asthmatics and diving to get an idea of the whys and wherefores. Most agencies have this information on their respective websites.

Sounds like you have the right idea about talking first

 

[fisheater]

Please, get a family-law attorney involved.

It's your duty (legally and morally) to protect your daughter from her foolhardy father. Don't let his irresponsible behavior endanger her life.

 

[In10se]

Now that we have "The rest of the story" (I miss Paul Harvey) we can get to the real issues here. As the stepfather I'd be soooo protective of the lil' princess that the "biological" father would be either:

1) A loving father with the freedoms he has earned by showing the total devotion lil' princess deserves ... or,
2) A wannabe father getting supervised visits with tight controls as a consequence of his poor, absent, non-supportive interference with lil' princess' growth.

It would be a hard call to deny her the relationship she has the natural right to enjoy with her "biological" father, but if he jeopardizes her safety like this then he'd leave no choices about it.

You've got a tough job in front of you. Fortunately, the huge paycheck you get every time lil' princess smiles your way will make it all worth it. Using the services the community provides you to keep a smile on that lil face is what he has required of you by his actions. This buttcrack has stuck you in a very hard position, and I wish you all the best in working through it.

For the record, pulling the trigger too soon on getting the "biological" father arrested, social services showing up at the dive site and so on, could have caused Mr. and Mrs. OP added grief in an already stressed out situation. The various state and city agencies are not the best at making great decisions as thousands of families have found out the hard way. Getting personally involved by asking the kid to call home would have given the OP the choice on how to deal with this according to the needs of his family, and allowed he and his wife to decide the what/where/when on state/city involvement.

 

[psychocabbage]

I dont understand parents like this childs mother. She has been diving for 20 years and still has not even given her daughter a chance to try something she is passionate about? (I assume passionate as most people would have to have a degree of passion to take up cave diving)

Our kids have used regs on the bottom of pools for years so taking them to deeper water was not an entirely new concept for them. With each one going through the courses and the other tagging along, they picked up on so many aspects of it.

Back on topic though, any drug using a$$hat would not have visitation rights if I were involved. While I personally think the govt has no right to be in each and everyones life, we are stuck for now with it as is. So, if I were in your situation, I would lawyer up and get ready to put my kid through some crap.. its tough love for a reason. I also would calmly and rationally explain to the child what her fathers "crimes" have been. Dont ever assume your kids dont already have an idea of what a messed up world we live in.. When you 12-14 yr old gets off the bus from school and tells you about the "stupid potheads" that were on it.. Makes you realize how much you knew back when you were their age..

 

[RadRob]

also a firefighter here. I am a drug/alcohol rehab counselor as well. parents putting children in danger is something I see EVERY day. whether it is parents drinking with their kids because "at least they are at home where they can see them" or parents taking untrained children diving, it is irresponsible in my book. parents "thought" they were being good parents by keeping an eye on them while drinking only to learn that even when they aren't around they drink and end up dying in car accidents. I allow my son to ride motorcycles and 4-wheelers but he has proper safety equipment and has been instructed on safety and PROPER procedure. breathing from an octo is no proper procedure, safe, or intended by manufacturers to be done. if the child is hurt or killed, saying that they were "just living life" will not be of any consolation. saying you were sharing the "passion" with your child makes no difference at that point. being a real parent is teaching them to be smart about things. teaching them that "you aren't supposed to do this but since you are with me it is fine" is the same as teaching them that safety rules and regulations are crap and don't need to be followed. unfortunately, until something badhappens some people will not learn this. this mentality will spill over into other areas (which is, of course, unplanned) where the consequences would be unintended but will happen anyway. this one act may be safe (in your eyes), but being unsafe with alcohol, drugs, guns, etc could be a result you never meant to happen. there are ways to share the passion without being cavalier with the youngsters lives. responsibility, proper preparation, planning, and equipping will make the experience safe and fun. that's what we should be teaching the kids.

 

[perdidochas]

I dont understand parents like this childs mother. She has been diving for 20 years and still has not even given her daughter a chance to try something she is passionate about? (I assume passionate as most people would have to have a degree of passion to take up cave diving)

Her daughter has asthma and is 11. That's enough reason to delay letting her daughter scuba.

 

[ZenDiver.3D]

Now, that's child endangerment.
So how was she allowed to go into an unsupervised setting on vacation? Please, take care of this and see that this is addressed. Her safety and life are at stake. Your child is asthmatic, untrained, and unprotected. Do what you need to do to ensure her safety.
Why the original post? Testing the water? I can understand that, if so. Take care of your daughter. She is the only one who counts here. Not us or any of our opinions. Do the right thing that will make her safe.

And I don't want to hear anything about me being over protective and not trusting in kid's abilities.... My daughter is 10, advanced certified(yes, she is), and she has 58 dives under her belt, form wreck, to night, to black water river dives. My 13 year old son- also a diver. I believe in giving your kids the opportunity to experience life. I do NOT believe in foolishly endangering my child. Mine are not asthmatic. They are not under the supervision of an idiot like her bio-father sounds like. Kids should be protected. That's our job. Do yours, and you'll be fine. You really knew what you had to do, didn't you?

 

[bfw]

I don't know about other agencies, but for PADI, it’s in the third paragraph of their
Standard Safe Diving Practices Statement of Understanding,
that is signed by all Open Water Students

Read your own words there. "Statement of Understanding" does not equal binding agreement. In fact, I'm not sure in what sort of alternate universe it equals compelling evidence of actual understanding.